tonight...... tonight i am going to loose my mind.. i know it.

i drank some today a little.
i did some streches and breathing last night
i need to be out of my head
work is from 10 to 7 am.
como quiciera olvidar unos nombres
que coren por i mente como
quiciera , ser libre. tener mi espacio
en mi mente y en mi piel.

I remember that day me and gabriela we thought how easy it would be to jump
This day was hot and sticky.
i yesterday i dreamt of death, and
a big water fall of blood and water
someones funeral. im content, i drank a
nice cold beer theres more waiting for me
at home. Work is tonight till 4 am. im sick
of it already and im not even there yet.
hopefully all is well...
my black night, i dont fear you
i loathe you. you make me weak
my insides are as empty as this room
my bills are as big as this thought
in my mind. i miss the rain these days
my parents are so far away.. i barely
remember them anymore, i barely knew
them it seemed. but, i do love them.
on thursday when i worked. there was a
couple that came in Wasted of course, barely
walk really.. they left after a drink as soon
as they stepped out he slapped her, beat her,
punched her. i couldnt believe people take such
abuse, i saw her run across the street and
she almost got hit by a bus. then by much more
cars. it was pathetic. i called the police but
they never showed they were ''busy'' even
though five minutes before that one passed and
didnt even notice.. sad.
i dont see what people really like about my space
sure i have one, no need to lie, but i mean.
everytime i go on all i get is bad vibes.
and lots of laughs with those ridiculous
pictures people take of themselves
the comments like ''you look cute, hot, fabulous'
fucking liars. i guess i keep it for
the chisme "gossip" see whats new i
really never get comments , i have a few friends..
and they are my friends in real life i see all the time
pointless really..
i went to go see this lady who told me my
fortune. it was exciting yet creepy,
didnt know weather to belive or not
but, i will tell you this much..
she said some things of mine that i did
not tell her. she told me i was that
observer that i , of course am. that i see and
notice everything and everyone. she told me
that i loved once. but it wasnt real, that
that love is still around. but i know really
is going no where. that i will find love.
she told me that you can want someone so bad that
you think you love them, but wanting things
doesnt always mean you love it, wanting a relationship
doesnt give you it. wanting to work things
doesnt work. and i got her, i really really did.
she told me that all my men ''boys'' to me, have
always been ridiculous SO TRUE, ja.ja.
she was great. she said she saw great things. great future.
i might move soon to my own space again, finally!!
my art book... i havent worked on it in so long it seems
like i dont have the time in the world.. im starting a
poloroid scrapbook. im really exited.
my drinks await me at home, oh and my job...

i feel left out. confused of what comes next

TIME. IS . MELTING.

yesterday i went to a show. its funny ididnt realize that it was valentines till that day. oh and the fact that you saw guys all over everywhere looking for roses all, of course last minute. because they feel they kinda have to. it was fun, the show, they just took forever to set up . that main singer he was the shit tho. 60 something straight out lives for rock and roll, it was good. i was angry cause everyone around me was drinking and i havne tgot my id through the mail. i cant wait tho.

I missed the bus this morning,suckked balls. also realized how big cunts guys are. Geeesh.anyway. i got more policies, i feel sick of it already, i mean i like the fact that i can make money is half a second, but man.. its overwhelming monday through sat. it seems that i make money fast but im here all day and mostly doing nothing. i dont even know how the moving thing is gonna go. leo is going to have one week were shes just going to chill. and man. ... that sounds chill. sit with a 6pack against the sun. smoking a nice dubbie. if only... that sounds awsome. i owe so much bills .. im soooooooooooooo poor. close to getting the boots from the house. blehe. ahhh. i want to be free.i have to get vikter my cousin from culiacan something.. i dontk now what but something tiiight. lets see today do the usual i really very bad need to clean my house. finish my laundry of course smoke a dubbie. im gonna go see aktriz bring her movies or some shit like that. i hope shes getting better, fuckkk i have nothing to write
nothing is new nothing moves. ..
peaceee